4 things a writer can do to avoid getting punched in the face

Writers tend to be more self-absorbed than the average person. We think we are smarter than everybody else just because we can slightly better articulate our thoughts and emotions. We call people out for being pretentious because we feel insecure about how inauthentic we are. If a part of Twitter’s data repository manages to survive an alien invasion, and our tweets are the only proof of human existence, those aliens may wonder why such noble, kind, and intelligent people behaved so idiotically and selfishly. Only in language have we found the comfort to express our emotions. But it has given us delusions of social adequacy.

These are some of the reasons why writers are annoying to get close to; perhaps, it is why we end up egging friends, family members, and colleagues to punch us in the face.

Here are four things that you, as a writer, must stop doing.


Do not grammatically correct people in the middle of an argument

It is an awful thing to do, even when you are having a meaningful conversation. Stop pretending as though it has anything to do with the respect you have for grammar. Why do you aspire to be a “grammar Nazi”? Your grammar is far from perfect, and you do not have the discipline to join the Third Reich. You are either clutching at straws since the conversation is not in your favor or trying to kick someone when they are already down. Either way, you are a terrible person. With some commitment, you can work your way up to be a Nazi.

Do not be a jerk about exposing people to your favorite writers

Recommending a book can be a beautiful thing because it can improve people’s lives. You may help discover strange, beautiful worlds. At times, you may even help them find the tools to improve their lives. The problem is that as writers, we often irritate readers by recommending books with an uncomfortable level of intensity. It is worse when we behave this way to someone with whom we are close. The authors of those books, if alive, sleep just fine. A person’s reading habits may require some guidance, not the rants of a sanctimonious and undemocratic cult leader.


Do not romanticize your crappy career choices

Being a writer is not a dream that came true. It is a bomb shelter. Stop telling everyone how fulfilling it is to be a writer. Perhaps, it is understandable that you take your craft seriously. Your journey as a writer may have been a tough, complicated one. Maybe, it continues to be a struggle. Sometimes, you even wonder why you made this career choice. But please, do not romanticize it in hindsight. No one wants to hear it. People go through all sorts of journeys to get where they are. They are still slaves to the grind. If they started waxing romantic about their struggles, it would not take a pandemic to screw up the economy.

Do not try to solve real conflicts with real talk on social media

Writing is not a tool to handle conflicts. You cannot substitute it for a direct conversation. The next time you have a problem with a loved one, talk to them. Do not put them through the tedious process of reading blog entries, angry tweets, and depressing Facebook posts to understand your feelings. What if they recorded a podcast about your bad qualities because they did not want to confront you? Writing is worse because it takes minimal effort to be a jerk.

As a writer, we may not fathom the level of annoyance we cause. It rings truer when surrounded by familiar faces because we get to be ourselves, albeit with limited restrictions. However, being punched in our face also becomes a realistic possibility.

It is important to remind ourselves that we are not special. We are not unique. We are not smarter than people who earn a living doing things that may not appeal to them. And what are we doing, anyway? Every word we use a made-up word. Every sentence we write takes us further from what the universe may be trying to say.

We have forgone the joys of being alive, experiencing the moment, simply because we enjoy stringing together words and sentences. We abide by a set of fantasy rules and call it a never-ending journey to perfection. We rate each other’s successes based on profit and popularity, neither of which is any indication of authenticity.

Today, we must ask ourselves, “Is it really worth getting punched in the face by someone we care about?”

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63 thoughts on “4 things a writer can do to avoid getting punched in the face

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  1. This was hilarious! It was like watching Hemingway in a bar fight. Incompetence as a species seems to be an intrinsic part of being human. Considering the alternatives, word bombs seem to be preferable to drone bombs. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yavoosa! That felt so good I just had to make up a word! Thank you so much for saying such lovely things, you are positively sirtatumasticoblamus. 🙂 I do believe our species once had a chance with the ocean-beds and then again, with the tree-houses but noooooooo, we just had to crawl over to the surface.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’d imagine that Yipee and YawHoo were made up words, too. 🙂 In fact, it’s quite possible that in the beginning woman looked at man and said, “ugh!”

        I think it’s time to go back to sleep. I’m getting punchy. 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

  2. Comrade is there a message with the monkeys 🙂 and what is the fascination for the katana blade 🙂 the post is awesome and I have sent it to my fellow writers 🙂 people aspiring to be writers 🙂 Hopefully we will see you publishing a book soon 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. awww thanks a million for your good vibes and wishes, comrade 🙂 well yeah i sometimes look at monkeys and wonder if it is obtuse of me to assume that I evolved from them. They seem more evolved!


  3. I had a good chuckle reading this, so thanks. I’m actually looking for a steady job right now and actually welcome working in a finance firm (just not one that works half days on Saturdays) at this point. I’ve always found time for my writing, thankfully. I don’t know where I’d be without it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hahahaha! I love this so much! It is so true, don’t fix people’s grammar in the middle of sentences, uh yeah, not a good move :p And yes, we write to remain sane, or at least sane enough to not be committed by your family and friends that may or may not love you depending on your “creative juice” inspiring moods 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Aye!!! I can’t go back to yesterday..coz I was a different person then…and today is much too somnambulant for any comment …but to or row I says we duel 😀😀


      1. it’s literary criticism, pretty much against author bio’s, (been a while since I read it) something to the effect that you shouldn’t judge a book by its author. I thought of it now because I try (didn’t always succeed) not to fall for the myths that surround certain writers (or musicians) and just enjoy the work. what I’m trying to say is writers who talk too much about writing and their personal lives, I suspect them of building their own myths, and, my personal opinion, I really don’t care, though it is very hard to avoid and well… everyone has their heroes


        Liked by 1 person

  5. Awesome, that post is so accurate, so in your face to all “artists” I know, that I almost fell of my chair laughing. The blog world is filled with some such pretentious a***holes but the real world has so many more. And believe me, there are loads of people who work 9-5 jobs and half day saturdays who also behave like this….
    Rocking 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yeah quoting others is so last synonym , I mean season

    Here’s a quote ,

    ‘Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it’


    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nice to read. But there are writers who write because they are best at what they do compared to “other” jobs. The types notorious mostly with their shabby dressing and bear, I find that kind to be obsolete and almost non-existent nowadays. — No comments on blog writers , though!–

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shabby dressing and beards, when pre planned, come across as being pretentious comrade. As lifestyle choices, i think they are rad though. I don’t think blog writers deserve that many brickbats, i doubt if any of them ask readers to pay either thanks money or attention to their pursuit of the crafts. There’s a far more tumultuous place in hell or wherever things are very uncomfortable for the Chetan Bhaghats of the world is my humble opinion.


  8. Aww..heavy dosed one about wordistic artistry.. the points get brutal as they proceed.. the third fourth fifth were nailing to the core..as if i was waiting someone to spell n spill all this..words as a profession n serious art is almost indigestable to me in many ways..wud rather not point them out like u do ( i may not be as efective as u do too).. Words are no natural let outs, often are made ups as u say..but thay is what the condition is..the so stuck mad souls find liberation..i leave it that way, spirutualistic. Often i do feel writing a heavy bearing n unabashedly let out art..n go on the hiberation mode n watnot. I surely know everyone else does feel thay way.. But certain things n souls remain the way they are:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yeah in one sense, i’d like to think “so what, as long as they find liberation” but i feel that won’t bode well with the crafts we so desperately cling onto. thank you for the spirals!


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